"I dont mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." ~Marilyn Monroe

"I don't mind living in a man's body as long as I can be a woman in it." ~VinVin Jacla

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Saturday, May 6, 2017

Getting married someday (like Ate Glow)

photos from pep.ph, Renee Hampshire, Renee Eugenio and Yolanda Salome Libre

Most of us have probably heard about Ate Glow marrying her British boyfriend sometime last year in the UK and as for me, whenever I reread the news about it, I just feel so...well...inspired....

Just take a good look at the two of them and how visible the love that they have for each other is.

Walking down the aisle, or even just the steps of the stairs after the ceremony, with the man you love....

Truly priceless for me. But I can only dream....

For now.

It's very seldom that my friends and I talk about me getting married someday. I feel like they think it's something that should be left unspoken for people like me for so obvious reasons. My family also doesn't ask me about it, nor do they even ask about my dating life. What they don't know won't hurt them. LOL. And, besides, there's nothing to tell because there's "no one." No one. None. Yet.

So whenever someone or some random person ask me about marriage or if I want to get married someday, like last night, I always feel confidently beautiful with a heart to answer that question because my stand always remains the same: yes, of course.

But in my case (just me, not generalizing here), I don't need or want to get married in a church or in front of a priest or whoever; I'm not after the religious union but more on the civil union which would protect both of our rights (conjugal or otherwise). So, yeah, I can and would want to get married someday but not here. Just not here. That's not legally possible here yet.

I once read a story about a same-sex couple who kept bank accounts and invested on various properties under their names, but, unfortunately, one of them died at an early age and what happened was, the family of the deceased got the properties of their deceased relative for themselves. I'm not a lawyer so I dunno the legality behind this but since they weren't civilly united as a conjugal couple, the remaining living partner got nothing from his deceased lover even though it was the two of them who built their fortune from the ground up. If someone could enlighten me more about this (my lawyer friends), that would be great as well.

There were also some instances when I would think that maybe I'm also meant for the "single blessedness" life like my aunts. They never got married and they're already senior citizens now. I also have this friend who's probably 20 years older than me and is now living abroad (most of my closest friends are actually more than 10 years older than me because I love the breadth of knowledge and experiences that they have that they also oftentimes share with me).

When I was in my early 20's, I would sometimes consult with him on my love problems (and God knows that they're a lot LOL). He shared with me his love story one time. I asked for his permission if I could share his story here and he's cool with it so here it goes.

When he was in his late 20's, he fell in love with a straight man. They became good friends but eventually, his straight friend got married and had kids. They still remained the best of friends and, in fact, when the guy's wife was about to give birth to their first child and the guy was abroad for a project, it was my friend who brought the wife to the hospital and shouldered the expenses. I guess it was also good that he's friends with the wife too on a personal level. Unfortunately, years later, the guy got struck with cancer but my friend still stayed with him as he laid there on his deathbed. He said that it was the most heartbreaking moment in his life because he only fell in love with one man, just one man, and there he was...about to be taken away from him by God. On the night when the guy was about to breathe his last (his wife was in the chapel at that time), my friend was sitting beside him and he confessed to the guy how much he loved him all those years. When I heard that I was like...uhmmm....shouldn't he have known about that from the very beginning? My friend said that, yes, the guy knew about it from the start and that he felt grateful for it. The guy apologized that he couldn't reciprocate the love that my friend had given him and my friend's response was like the most hopeless romantic thing that I've ever heard in my life. Ever. "Allowing me to be your friend and to still be part of your life is more than enough for me." The guy died and my friend moved to another country. Last time I checked, he's now happily caring for his nephews and nieces. (Hi there! In case you get to read this).

With how things are going in my life right now, I feel like I'm closer to having a life similar to that of my friend. LOL. But I'm still hopeful. Very hopeful.

More than 5 years ago, I met this one guy and we kinda dated briefly. I was still a little thinner back then. LOL. He's European he was here in Manila for an engineering project (European guys are really my weakness). I was in love with him back them. He's tall with a somewhat ash blonde hair and his eyes were the most beautiful gray eyes that I've ever seen in my life. Before he left, he joked that if ever we'd still be single 10 years later, he'd marry me. I smiled and told him to stop being silly. But deep inside, I was actually feeling very hopeful. Unluckily for me, 3 years ago, I found out that he got married already and he and his wife now have a cute little boy. Believe it or not, I'm actually happy for him. We don't communicate that much now but he greeted me last Christmas on Skype.

Anyway, that's all for now. I need to run. My friend invited me to have lunch with her at their house in Forbes. I still need to prepare and get my "social climber" mode on. LOL.

Happy Saturday!



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Who is that "gay" I see staring straight back at me...?

Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?

When will my reflection show...who I am inside?