"I dont mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." ~Marilyn Monroe

"I don't mind living in a man's body as long as I can be a woman in it." ~VinVin Jacla

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Saturday, April 29, 2017

It's better this way....

We always sit in front (or close to the front if the first few seats are reserved) whenever we go to church. Sitting in front has its perks, like being the first in line during communion and not worrying if the people sitting in front of you are being unreasonably disturbing. But one of the perks that I kinda appreciate the most is that I get to see the people who are lining up during communion, like some old friends and faces in our community.

Just like what happened last Easter Sunday morning. I saw an old face, a guy I once dated (or should I say twice) more than 10 years ago. An old schoolmate back when I was in grade school. He was such a cutie during that time. I was in 5th grade when I first met him and he was a graduating 6th grader. We didn't become friends because he moved to a different high school after graduation.

I wouldn't delve much into the details but thanks to Friendster back then, we were able to reconnect and meet up twice at a community mall when I was in college. I was more than surprised that he still remembered me.

He didn't become my boyfriend (I'm NBSB - no boyfriend since birth) even though he asked me if I wanted to. I was 18 and he was 19 turning 20. But, what I did was I told him that when he'd graduate from college, we could meet up again and he could ask me that same question (I was a junior and he was a graduating senior) if he'd still be single. I told him that I wanted him to have a "real" girlfriend because there are things that only a "real" girl could give him that I couldn't. So, yeah, back then I guess I was already a drama queen. 😅😅😅

To cut the long story short, I didn't get to see him again after that. On my senior year, I had a different set of crushes (my Carlo Ayo saga started during that time) and he also didn't become that active on Friendster anymore (I guess FS was also at the brink of death at that time already).

Fast forward to 2017, and there he was, in front of me, at the church, a kid beside him holding his hand. A woman who I deciphered to be his wife was following behind him. She was holding what seemed to me was like a newborn baby. He grew a little older, now strutting a dadbod which became quite obvious because of the shirt that he's wearing.

I'm just not sure if he saw me or, even if he did, if he even recognized me. I decided to check him out if he's on Facebook and, lo and behold, he is. Married with two kids. I thought of adding him up and to tell him that I just saw him, but I hesitated.

It's better this way. I'm more than happy seeing that he's happy and that he now has a family. I was right after all. I could only probably give him so much, but not the one thing that he needs and deserves to have.

God bless him and his family.



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Who is that "gay" I see staring straight back at me...?

Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?

When will my reflection show...who I am inside?