"I dont mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." ~Marilyn Monroe

"I don't mind living in a man's body as long as I can be a woman in it." ~VinVin Jacla

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Saturday, May 7, 2016

I almost died tonight

photo from thewrap.com

I thought it was my time tonight. Someone pointed a gun at me at a Caltex station near our subdivision. He's a motorcycle driver wearing a checkered red & white long sleeves. Not sure if he was wearing khaki or dark beige pants. He also didn't remove his helmet the whole time.
I took a 5-hour overtime work tonight that's why I went home late. I was in a good mood the whole time I was driving home and I was even listening to Juris' cover of Side A's "Forevermore" on repeat. After a long 2-hour drive, I decided to gas up at a Caltex station near our village so that Clint's tank will be full the whole weekend. I always do that every Thursday.

I was now about to turn left to Caltex from the other side of the road. My turning signal was on the whole time. Typical Pinoy drivers, most of them didn't let me pass. And so I waited until I finally found an opportunity to make a turn. The last vehicle to drive past me was a white pick-up truck. And then I made a turn. I noticed a motorcycle from a far but I reckoned that he was still like hundreds of meters away from me. Like really far l. And then all of a sudden this motorcycle sped up as if it was in a hurry and kept on honking and honking at me. My driving instructor from years ago taught me that if you see a car turning and if it already occupied your lane, you should slow down and give way. I was already in the middle of the road and I was like 3 steps away from the gas station at that time. I thought I had no choice but to just proceed, and so I did. But this motorcycle driver was really furious and he followed me to the gas station. He stopped in front of me and there...he pointed his gun at me.

The weird thing was I didn't feel a thing. I just also stared at him coldly and steadily. Deep inside I was thinking, "Lord, I'm ready." As in for some strange reason I didn't feel anything. I wasn't even afraid. I wasn't shaking. It's like as if everything just stopped.

I guess the man realized that he's at a gasoline station and that firing his gun at me would blow up the entire area. So instead, he just raised his middle finger at me. And if ever the whole place wouldn't blow up, there were like 3 or 4 gasoline boys there who would've witnessed me murdered anyway.

I dunno why but my automatic reflex was to also raise my middle finger at him. Haha! Sorry. I know I shouldn't laugh. I almost died. LOL.

I'm already home now in case you ask. I didn't go to the police. I think I should but I don't know if I can trust them. And besides, yeah, I feel so tired now. It would've probably been a long night and I still have work tomorrow. (Yes, I'm really workaholic that's why I'm still single LOL.)

This eye-opening event that happened to me tonight made me realize a few things. 1) Life is really short. 2) We live in a very dangerous, unsafe world. Let's face it. Let's admit it. 3) OMG. I wasn't afraid to die. For the longest time I thought I was afraid to die. But when death stared at me right in the eye tonight, I just stared at him as well.

So now, I've really changed my mind. I would need a president and a vice-president who would vow to keep us all safe from these "criminals." I'm gonna switch sides now. And, yes, your guess is as good as mine. I'm not gonna mention their names anymore. Some of you might just bash me and call me "bobo" LOL. But, hey, can you blame me?

And lastly, in case something like this would happen to me again (knock on wood), I feel like I need to say this. I need to let him know. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Maybe my head is just a little shaken right now LOL but I know I'm still sane and I wanna say this while I'm still my normal and "alive" self.

Matt Butiong, I like you. You're like my biggest crush ever. As in swear. Super. I can't say that I'm in love with you because we're not even friends LOL but I guess that's fair enough. I just really have a crush on you.

There I said it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Don't hate me.

And to my parents, to my aunts, I love you. Thank you for giving me a good, comfortable life. Really. My prayer still remains unchanged. I always pray to God that He'd take me first because I don't know if I would still carry on living without you. But I promise to take care of all of you until the day I die. That's why I still don't have a boyfriend until now! LOL. Ok I should probably shut up now.

Thank you for taking some time to read this lengthy post. I promise to be more more more careful next time. But you know what, if you really know me personally, you'd know that I'm probably one of the very few drivers in this country who's mega extra careful when I'm driving and I'm on the rode. I always stick to my lane, I always give way. And I'm driving a freakin' Montero and an Everest for crying out loud. They're not race cars. It's not that easy to drive an SUV (IMO).

And before I forget, thank you, Lord for keeping me safe tonight. I know You love me. And I know that You know that I love You too. I love You. 😇😇😇



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Who is that "gay" I see staring straight back at me...?

Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?

When will my reflection show...who I am inside?