"I dont mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." ~Marilyn Monroe

"I don't mind living in a man's body as long as I can be a woman in it." ~VinVin Jacla

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Tuesday, August 11, 2015

It feels good to fall in love once again (part 3)

I thought I could just let this pass, but I couldn’t. And I guess it’s simply because last Thursday night was probably one of the most “kilig” moments of my life ever. EVER.

Two of my friends invited me to have a quick dinner at Chowking along Rufino St. last Thursday night. I was hesitant to go home at that time, yet, since it was raining cats and dogs outside, thus, traffic was inevitably heavy as well.

We decided to set off to Chowking when we saw that it already began drizzling. We got there at around past 6PM. Food was terrible as expected. I was initially thinking of going to Chubby’s instead since it’s nearer but my friend said that she wanted some sweet and sour pork (when we got to Chowking, she instead ordered for a siopao).

A few minutes later, we were already thinking of going back when the rain started pouring heavily again. Good thing it was already after office hours and that we were already done with our tasks for that day.

At around 7PM, one of my friends said that she still needed to withdraw some money from a nearby ATM. It was still raining outside but we thought it was already somehow tolerable. We braved the rain while singing Mariah Carey’s “Through The Rain” in our heads. CHOZ!

Luckily, this BPI atm along Dela Rosa was still open. My friend stepped inside the atm booth while I was fixing my hot pink umbrella. My other friend went inside as well as she didn’t have an umbrella with her. She invited me to join them so that I wouldn’t get wet. I told them that I was ok and that I had my umbrella with me anyway.

A few seconds later, I somehow noticed that the rain was beginning to stop. I could hardly feel the raindrops on my umbrella. I turned back and decided to look up to check. I tilted my umbrella backwards, preparing to close it, to fold it, and to wriggle it dry.

And then all of a sudden, I realized that there was a guy who was also standing right behind me. He was wearing blue long sleeves. I thought he was carrying an iPad (or iPod) or a notebook on his right arm. Headphones plugged into his ears. His eyebrows still looking so thick. His hair a little wet. His eyes dazzling. His face captivating. He looked so handsome. He just looked so handsome.

My eyes opened wide. My heartbeat started racing. Time somewhat stopped.

Instantly, I thought I heard Jessie J. singing “Bang Bang” with Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj.

Bang, bang into the room
I know you want it
Bang, bang all over you
I'll let you have it
Wait a minute, let me take you there
Wait a minute ‘til you….

And then, after a split second, the music changed to Toni Gonzaga’s “Catch Me I’m Falling”.

I don't know why but when I look in your eyes
I feel something that seems so right
You've got yours I've got mine
I think I'm losing my mind
‘Coz I shouldn't feel this way
Catch me I'm falling for you
And I don't know what to do….

I really didn’t know what to do. Was I supposed to offer him my umbrella?

Sukob na, halika na
Sabay tayo sa payong ko
Hawak na, kapit pa
Sa payong ko magkasama tayo….

I knew it was the right thing to do. I would’ve done it for anyone. Anyone BUT him. I just couldn’t….

I literally froze right that very moment. Just an hour ago it was raining so hard and I was complaining and all that, and then all of sudden “that” happened. I was like…Dear God….you really love me THIS MUCH?

I guess I was so obvious that my friends noticed that I was feeling quite uneasy outside the ATM booth. They peered out to see what was going on and the moment that they saw him they instantly knew who was driving me crazy that one cold and rainy Thursday night.

I reckoned that he was listening to some music at that time anyway so I gathered all my courage to speak up and to tell my friends to hurry up as we needed to leave as soon as possible.

Arriba! Arriba! Ándale! Ándale!

I used my umbrella to cover my face as we were leaving. I didn’t want to leave, yet, but I knew it was the right thing to do even if it felt kinda wrong. Me not offering him my umbrella. Him standing outside in the rain getting kinda wet. It was just so wrong.

Everything was just so wrong.

But as I was staring at him…when my eyes met his for a millisecond…as I tried to remember the feeling that I felt inside at that very moment….

How can something so wrong
Feel so right all along
Catch me, I'm falling for you
How can time be so wrong?
For love to come along
Catch me, I'm falling for you....



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Who is that "gay" I see staring straight back at me...?

Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?

When will my reflection show...who I am inside?