"I dont mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." ~Marilyn Monroe

"I don't mind living in a man's body as long as I can be a woman in it." ~VinVin Jacla

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Sunday, July 5, 2015

It feels good to fall in love once again (part 2)

Click here for part 1.

This happened to me last week.

I didn't realize that I was still feeling sick that day until I went to our clinic that morning because I was feeling dizzy and nauseous. Our company doctor said that I might be suffering from some vertigo (which also made me BP go up apparently) and so she made me rest for an hour inside the clinic and advised me to go home soon after.

As I was fixing my stuff and sending out email reminders about the work that I would be leaving behind, I was asking God, "Lord, why is this happening to me?"

12:30PM. I was all set and ready to leave. I hopped into the elevator and pressed "G." A woman also stepped inside. And then suddenly the elevator door opened when we reached the 11th floor. And there he was, in his white long sleeves, his lunch bag slinging on his left shoulder, and what seemed to be like an iPad and a pair of earphones resting on his right arm. His hair was still styled in that Edward Cullen manner. His chin and his upper lip looking stubbly. It seemed like he was also feeling sick. My friends told me that he played basketball last Sunday (which I didn't get to watch, and I so regret it) even though he wasn't feeling that well. No wonder. I didn't get to see him yesterday since I was away from work as well so I'm not sure if he was also already not feeling ok since yesterday.

I glanced at him from time to time during the whole descent, trying to examine what could possibly be so wrong about him, about what he's feeling. But, of course, I wasn't able to do that. I mean, c'mon, that's not even possible, right? LOL. He was texting someone throughout the whole time, which kinda helped me to steal glances at him. And then the elevator door opened.

Boom. This was it. He's probably just gonna be meeting some friends at the smoking area. Or gonna go to Blenz to get some coffee. I dunno. I was already preparing myself to part ways with him. He went out of the elevator first. I followed suit. He swiped his card on the turnstile. I followed suit as well. (There's only one exit, mind you, so I had no choice but to follow him since I was also on my out of the building.) He went to the door and walked straight out of the building.

"It's goodbye time, VinVin." I told myself.

I went out of the door as well and headed straight to the parking lifts. To my surprise, well, you guessed it right, he was also heading the same way! I was just about to enter the door to the parking elevator lobby when I saw him push the up button. I wanted to push that same button as well just so our fingers (or fingerprints) would've at least touched (CHEESY!!!) but the elevator door opened already. (You're such a kill joy, Mr. Parking Elevator.)

I saw him push "3" while I pushed "6." I was thinking of going to the same parking floor with him but my vehicle was parked 3 floors up and I was just recuperating from having vertigo and high BP. And, yes, my BP was also already going up at that very moment. So, not a good idea. I was already anticipating for someone else to enter the elevator as well. I was already expecting for someone to ruin this moment. My moment.

1...2...3.... (Chandelier!!! CHOZ!)

The elevator door closed. And there we were...inside the elevator...just the two of us....


Oh, dear Lord, thank you! It's like as if God answered my question earlier already. So, this was the reason. Thank you, Lord! (See! I told you. God loves me.)

I was waiting for some elevator music to play while we were inside. But for the past 5 years that I've been using that elevator, it actually never played any music anyway.

He stood at the back near the air ventilation while I decided to stand close to the elevator doors and pretended to be reading the weather bulletin in front of me, murmuring words like, "Ah, ok." But deep inside, I was like, "Aren't you the most handsome guy our company has ever hired in the past 5 years???"

I didn't know what else to do. He was just there. Standing behind me. Just the two of us. Inside the elevator. Like...how cool is that!?

"This is the moment, VinVin. This is the moment!!!" I wanted to flip out right there and then but I couldn't. And I didn't. I just decided to text my friend and told her that my crush was with me. I mean, not with me...with me. But...well...yeah...in a literal sense. He's with me. LOLZ!

That elevator ride was probably the longest one that I've ever had in my entire life, even though it was just 3 floors high.


The elevator door opened. A big number "3" flashed on the screen. I froze as he stepped out of the elevator, his car keys dangling in between his fingers. I looked at him for the very last time as the elevator door slowly closed.


I looked up and stared at the CCTV camera. I waved "hi." And I smiled.

"You get the message." I said.

I stared at the weather bulletin again. It was only then that I realized that it was positioned upside down.

Someone please report that to the building administration.



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Who is that "gay" I see staring straight back at me...?

Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?

When will my reflection show...who I am inside?