"I dont mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." ~Marilyn Monroe

"I don't mind living in a man's body as long as I can be a woman in it." ~VinVin Jacla

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Wednesday, April 29, 2015

It feels good to fall in love once again

I'm not keeping well tonight and I feel like dozing off in the next 5 minutes or so. But before that, I just wanna share something first: it really feels great to "fall" and "be" in love once again.

I just really need to spill it out, else I'm gonna lose my senses. He's so into Math so let's just call him "Math guy."

There's this guy in our office that I'm really super duper mega ultra heavily crushing on. I won't describe him anymore because it's gonna be a dead giveaway. There's only one person in our team who knows who he is, and three from the other teams as well (they were the ones who introduced him to me).

I was on my way out of the office this afternoon heading to the elevator when I realized that my car keys weren't inside the pocket of my Longchamp but instead found its way at the bottom of my hand bag. As I was reaching out for it, the elevator door opened and there he was....in all his shining, oh-so-glorious gorgeousness, standing right in front of me, looking as handsome and as dashing as ever. His hair was somewhat styled similar to that of Edward Cullen; his jaw was sculpted so perfectly, serving as the foundation and holding ground of his captivating crooked smile; his eyes were even accentuated by the deep contours of his seemingly delicately brushed....ok I'm gonna stop there. I don't wanna spill the beans just yet!

Anyway, going back, and to make the long story short...I was stunned. I was shocked. I was motionless.

He stepped out of the elevator and started walking towards the reception area. I knew that I needed to step inside the elevator at that very moment, press "G" (ground floor), head straight to the parking lot, and drive myself home. But instead...I started following him. I literally just found myself walking towards the reception area as well. And then all of a sudden it felt like as if my guardian angel slapped me on the face to wake me up from this mirage and return me to the real world.

I decided to walk to the opposite direction and headed to the comfort room to freshen myself up a bit. I needed to calm down. The degree of giddiness that I was feeling at that very moment was so intense. As I was nearing the comfort room, I decided to look back, one final look, and I saw him holding his badge and swiping it over the glass door. I took a few more steps until I was able to reach the comfort room door. However, it didn't feel flat and smooth as it normally should. It felt angulated and rough. I turned my gaze away from him and stared at the door in front of me.

I was about to enter the fire exit.

Good night.



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Who is that "gay" I see staring straight back at me...?

Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?

When will my reflection show...who I am inside?