"I dont mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." ~Marilyn Monroe

"I don't mind living in a man's body as long as I can be a woman in it." ~VinVin Jacla

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Wednesday, August 3, 2011

I guess I should just really let this out....

August 3, 2011

This has been bothering me for the past days now. And I really am feelin' so emotional about this. Call me shallow, call me sensitive, call me whatever you want.

But, when it comes to that "one" particular person...I'm really like this. He's just really that important to me. Regardless of how many times my friends would tell me to stop or to let go, I just couldn't. It's not that easy and I don't think it ever will. He's just that special.

And I'm happy that we're friends already. Not the same way as before, but, at least we're friends and I know that I shouldn't ask for anything more. That I should just leave it at that.

But something just happened a few nights ago while I was checking out one of my fave blogs (or a "former" favorite blog) online. This was what I read.


I don't know about you but I really honestly felt so betrayed. As in. Swear. Super.

I treated that person as a friend for the longest time and then....

I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sorry if I did you anything wrong in the past (which I can't remember if I've even actually done any because I believe I haven't). But, I don't think I deserve this.

One thing that I learned in life is to never ever betray someone's trust, especially if that someone is your friend. Or even if that someone just considers you as his or her friend.

Especially me. Why me? Why me? Why me? Haven't I had gone through so much already? I'm trying my best to move on and be happy and then this....

That comment was posted months ago. MONTHS. I only found out about that last week. Just last week. And that blogger never even told me that he approved such a comment in the first place. I mean....why? Why did you approve it? Why hadn't you told me about it first? I know it's your blog and stuff but....someone's gonna get affected. And that someone was me.

Anyway, below were the responses that I got.

The one below was from his friend, another blogger (whom I also "considered" as a friend).


And this one was from the blogger himself.


I dunno. I'm not sure if it's just me or...I just didn't get any of their reasoning at all. Any. As in. I'm sorry. It just didn't make any sense to me. I was referring to the comment and not to the blog post. And that comment didn't pertain to the blogger or to anyone in particular but me and me alone.

It's really just that obvious, right?

My response was below.


"But perhaps not to the point that another person gets affected or hurt by such opinions or comments, especially if he/only she found out about it a few months after. And maybe especially if that person has already given you his/her trust and friendship."

I dunno what else to say. I just wanna limit this post with as little thoughts and opinions as possible. I don't want this to be taken against me (if ever). But, I'd just like to voice out that I was really hurt. That was painful. Those were pretty harsh words.

I told my friends about this and all of them couldn't understand why that even happened. Why the person who posted that comment even said that against me. And why that comment was even approved in the first place.

Same here. I also dunno why.

Do you hate me? Is there anyone here who hates me?

And to answer that person who posted that comment, well, you just have no idea about what happened between me and that guy in the past. No idea at all. You weren't there. So, please, don't judge me. And I would just like to leave it at that.

That's all. I'm kinda glad that I finally let that out. That had been burdening me for the past 5 days now. I don't think I'll be ok right away, but, I should be fine. Soon.

I may not be as famous a blogger as you are, or as other bloggers are...I may not have that much following...I may not be as influential...but, at least I know for a fact that I'm real and I'm not pretentious.

And also, lemme tell you guys this...you only need to disappoint me once. That alone will bear a mark forever.

Before I end....


Oh, please...give me a break.


And you...you....

You're just like the other guys.

 Mwah! 


X.O.X.O.
VinVin


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Who is that "gay" I see staring straight back at me...?

Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?

When will my reflection show...who I am inside?